I came into the weekend jaded physically, mentally and emotionally. I'm not quite sure what that means exactly, but it was safe to say I was tired. Balancing studying, meetings, extra-curriculars, errands at home along with Cru duties has felt a little crazy. It is for most students. After some more tiring hours preparing for retreat I was thankful for the time I got to let the Lord's presence simply wash over me. The words preached this weekend were soothing to my ears. It made me desire to be "ambushed" by God's love. Because as I ultimately learned in Puerto Rico it is one thing to know intellectual Truth about the Lord and quite another to experience it in my own life.
In this frantic time I was also thankful for the time and space to simply bask in the Lord's presence whether it was on a tree stump, in an amphitheater or sitting in a quaint coffee shop. It was a joy to have this respite and to really desire to delve into the Word.
I took particular interest in the book of James and there was one verse the first morning that seemingly set the tone for the rest of my weekend. It said, "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." Simple enough, and yet it was so fitting to the place that I was at.
It was also an immense pleasure to just enjoy the company of good friends and new acquaintances. It was something that was certainly needed and it was wonderful to see all the new faces and get to spend time with them praising the Lord or just enjoying sports together.
Another reason I was at a weird place has to do a feeling of nostalgia paired with my weariness. To put it succinctly I feel sort of old. This was my third fall retreat and I have been a leader in Cru for almost as long. It is not always an easy role and I never feel quite capable enough on my own power. The beauty of it all is that I don't have to carry all the burden alone. I have a Father in Heaven who delights over me. "He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in me." And he is doing great things. I was reminded of that when I was able to talk with two friends who have now graduated that I first met two years ago at Fall Retreat. They are at exciting places in their lives. Back when I met them, I was one of three freshmen and now we saw so many people come out. I'm not a fan of the numbers game, but I am a fan of meeting younger believers and growing alongside them as we all pursue a relationship with the Lord.
As per usual, I have rambled so much and yet there always seem to be more to say. Now the often messy craziness of reality has kicked in again and there is a lot to be navigated and parsed through relating to school and inter-personally. Please pray that the Lord gives me wisdom, discipline and the necessary tact to bring glory to Him as I attempt to love others well.
All the Glory be His.
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