William Carey is labeled "the Father of Modern Missions" and yet I had never heard of him. I only discovered him this last week when I led a study on a book about his life and he was an extraordinary man to say the least, because he helped transform the very fabric of Indian society during the late 18th century and early 19th century. He not only came to spread the Gospel message but he impacted the entire culture.
His example is in many ways a wonderful model for us as we strive to share the Gospel overseas, however he is certainly not the perfect human by any means. None of us are. I think the life of William Carey is a wonderful reminder of why we are in Puerto Rico and he also gives a perspective that is greater than our own.
For instance Hebrews 11 recalls many of the biblical heroes that have come before us. Then as far as missionaries are concerned, following in the footsteps of Carey were David Livingstone, Gladys Aylward, Hudson Taylor, Eric Liddel, and Jim Elliot to name a few. To think that I am "surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses" is extremely humbling. I feel inadequate next to such titans of the faith and yet the reality is we all fall short of the glory of God. Thus, whether you have books written about you or your own wikipedia page or you are lost to history, none of that matters, because Christ is everything. He is the reason that people like Carey lived the way he did. We all have sinned and fallen short, but each one of us has been redeemed and that is amazing to get your head around.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith"- Hebrews 12
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Recently I have also been reading through Dietrich's Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship. Without getting into it too much, I will wholeheartedly acknowledge that I do not always understand what he is saying, but there have been numerous moments that have resonated with me. Here was one such passage:
"A little band of men, the followers of Christ, are separated from the rest of the world. The disciples are few in number and will always be few. This saying of Jesus forestalls all exaggerated hopes of success. Never let a disciple of Jesus pin his hopes on large numbers. "Few there be..." The rest of the world are many, and will always be many. But they are on the road to perdition. The only comfort for disciples have in face of this prospect is the promise of life and eternal fellowship with Jesus."
When we read this it can sound pretty bleak and in some ways it is, but the words were especially convicting to me, because I feel like on a project such as mine, a lot of weight is put into the numbers game. How many Gospel presentations have we had, how many contact cards got filled out, how many follow ups have we had, how many people have accepted Christ?
Certainly there is value in all these things, but they are utterly insignificant compared to "the promise of life and eternal fellowship with Jesus." That is what should cause us to want to meet students, so that they might also gain access to this promise. It is not about the numbers, it is about letting the Spirit work in us and through us and leaving the rest up to God.
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The final lesson I wish to talk about is the spiritual discipline of silence. As an introvert who needs alone time I found it relatively easy and necessary to spend time by myself. Solitude is not a big problem for me. However, as we practiced silence by simply doing nothing but being in the presence of God, I felt resistance and it was extremely difficult.
I realized that although I spend time in solitude, I often do not spent time in silence. I am always reading something, listening to music, or occupied in some other way. It was in this time that I could only pray and talk with the Lord where I realized my own insecurities.
During this time of silence I realized that over this project I have often felt a major inadequacy. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can become bad when I measure myself by other people and their skills and accomplishments. I realized that my spiritual life is just between me and God and the reality is, as I acknowledged before, that all of us have fallen short no matter how diligent we are reading or how skilled we are at sharing the Gospel. As a result I can have tremendous freedom knowing that I am God's and he loves me for who I am as I continue to grow in my personal understanding of Him.
Please pray that I can continue to wrestle with this and that I will have humility as I continue to share on campus with my team. All the glory be His.
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