Souvenirs

Here’s to the twilight

Here’s to the memories

These are my souvenirs

My mental pictures of everything

Here’s to the late nights

Here’s to the firelight

These are my souvenirs

My souvenirs

~ Souvenirs by Switchfoot

Last night I got the privilege to see one of my personal heroes in my own home of these past four years. He blessed us with a few songs: "Only Hope," "Terminal," and "Dare You to Move," while weaving together a message through this tapestry of song and spoken words.

The overarching theme of the night was that each of us has a song inside of us that we need to unearth (There's a song inside of my soul. It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again), by digging through all the crevices of our lives including all the darkness and finding what makes us truly sing. And of course, in our singing, just like our Creator in Genesis, we give Him immense joy, even in our weakness. Because we are terminal beings (We are the living souls, with terminal hearts, with terminal parts) in need of a Savior.

Thanks be to God then, that wretched man that I am he can and will deliver me from my sin. Such a reality lets us move forward with almost a radical fearlessness. We can step into the tension, the wrong notes, and the messiness in our lives and accept it for what it is (The tension is here. The tension is here. Between who you are and who you could be. Between how it is and how it should be). We can struggle and kick and claw and ultimately accept life for what it is. There is oftentimes immense beauty in these discordant notes in life. As with anything, this extreme polarity of joy and pain, only makes the sweeter notes all the more rewarding. There is beauty that rises out of that tension. 

Foreman suggested that makes it worthwhile to step into the suffering, confusion, and apathy, because those are very honest and human states. And we already have confidence that salvation is here. It was a stirring reminder, a little nugget of an evening that I will probably carry with me for sometime. I'll try not to by hyperbolic, but I think some of the reason the evening was so moving, upon reflection, is that it felt like in some ways like I'm coming full circle.

In fact, I have always admired Jon Foreman greatly ever since I listened to my older brother's CDs of "Learning to Breathe" and "The Beautiful Letdown" as a kid. But Switchfoot and specifically Jon Foreman, as a thinker, believer, artists, and fellow UCSD student, really resonated with me when I got to San Diego. 

When I look back now, it's almost hard to remember those days of doubt and insecurity when I thought that God had placed me at the wrong school. Or at least I wasn't sure why I was at UCSD. I have different doubts now, as I always seem to have, but Jon has always been sort of a kindred spirit. 

When I learned a little bit of his backstory, he seemed all the more relatable and his music took on even greater personal significance, because it felt like he was coming out of some the same places as me. He was thinking and struggling with many of the things I had, and he also was a very thoughtful person when it came to the complex issues of life. He even inspired me to try my hand at Soren Kierkegaard and Augustine, which proved to be very tough going on both accounts. But I'm immensely glad I did. 

His music has really been the soundtrack of my life these past four years. There are so many songs that I have listened to time and time again, whether I was making the long trek across campus or simply sitting somewhere contemplating life. These songs fit every situation and they spoke into different concerns of my own life at different times. The music felt like it was meant for me.

Truth be told, I went through different cycles with various songs and yet a lot of them still resonate with me. My college years have bred apathy at times. I've striven for meaningful relationships in this labyrinth of concrete and calculations. I've struggled with pain and fallen prey to doubt more times than I can even remember. Technology often sucks my soul dry. And yet again and again I return to a God who loves and cherishes me, yearns for justice and to bring his children home to him. I'm constantly fluctuating through all the high and lows of the human experience.

Thus, there's no rhyme or reason to these tunes. It's a very eclectic bunch, but I'm grateful to Jon for penning them, because they were greatly appreciated -- for their beauty, clarity, and honesty. I hope that someday, whatever I do, I might point people towards Christ and in the same breath lift them up and speak into their lives like he has spoken into mine. Without further ado, here is my personal list of souvenirs courtesy of Jon Foreman. Give them a listen if you're so inclined.

• Chem 6A
• Concrete Girl
• Give Me Back My Girl
• When we Come Alive
• Easier than Love
• Faust Midas and Myself
• Let Your Love Be Strong
• Your Love is Strong
• Equally Skilled
• Instead of a Show
• Let That Be Enough
• A Mirror is Much Harder to Hold
• Birthright
• Caroline
• Against the Voices
• Sorrow
• June and Johnny
• Drums of War
• Betrayal
• Again
• Ghost Machine
• When We Collide
• Inheritance
• Evergreen