The Problem with Pain

I will preface that I have yet to read C.S. Lewis' Problem with Pain. However, with the difficult circumstances that have arisen, I have a few observations of my own.

For instance, it is one thing to know Biblical truth and quite another to be able to truly believe that it is ultimately true. Because it is no longer just a theological issue anymore. It is real life and real life is messy and it hurts. It directly affects me and the people around me.

That is not to say that there is no power in the Scriptures because that is a lie, but I will have continue to struggle with my convictions that the Word is truth that can speak into my life.

I think Lewis faced a similar problem in his own life. He wrote a theological piece on the problems that come with suffering, but he could never truly understand it until his wife passed away. This example is specific for him, but I am experiencing some of the same feelings right now.

Initially there is a tremendous edge to the pain and suffering that socks you with full force in the face. You do not know what to do. You cannot comprehend what is going on, but you have to wrestle and work through the reality all the same.

There are questions floating through your mind and there seem to be very few answers to follow them up. Talking and being ministered to by other people is often good but it never can change the bottom line. At the end of each of those fruitful conversations there is still the same reality of pain and suffering.

After this initial coping stage there are moments when you almost become numb to the feelings. You no longer want to have to deal with them or accept them for what they are. You want to be alone but in the same instance you do not. Your own thoughts are a frightening place to be and it can be painful. At least with others you can hide from the hurt for a little while, receive a little respite from the anguish. But there is a tendency to be aloof in the moments when the mind has time to wander in the company of others.

Kubler-Ross have a model for the 5 stages of grief and I suppose that might be helpful for some people to process, but ultimately it is only a list. Who knows if these men ever experienced pain? Who knows if they thought that this model could even help people in pain?

Because we can talk about it theologically like Lewis or put labels on it like Kubler-Ross, but at the end of the day it is very much so an emotional issue. When the emotions are high, a hug, a lyric from a song, or a moment in Scripture is far more powerful. Maybe that is just for me but others might feel that way too.

The problem with pain is that we live in a broken world and we will never be able to escape it or truly comprehend it. We must wrestle with it until the end of our days and do the best we can to turn to God and let others love us in these trialling times.

 David was one who was prone to songs and psalms when he was questioning God. Here are his words in Psalm 13:

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord's praise,
for he has been good to me.

Despite the somberness of this post I am thankful for what the Lord has been doing in Puerto Rico and I look forward to sharing more about our last week of ministry soon.

All the Glory to Him.