Redirecting to the Lord

If I were to read through my posts from this past year, I would not be surprised at seeing an ongoing motif running through them about tiredness and being burnt out. And as this Spring quarter continues, I feel like those same things applied for right now.

Friday afternoon following class I headed off with some friends and fellow Cru leaders to Escondido out in the middle of nowhere for a quick overnight retreat in preparation for next year. I don't mind saying that I have been mentally weary and in a relatively negative mood the last week or so. I don't always show it overtly but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings on the inside. It makes me realize more and more that spiritual warfare is something real. We are fighting a war here on earth. The devil is trying to get under our skin, whisper lies in our ears, and turn us into bitter people.

When I see tinges of that in myself it's rather disheartening and even a bit frightening. In fact, I brought some of that negativity into the weekend with it fully acknowledged, but it turned out to be a positive time. After the tough weeks and the daily grind, here was a kind of oasis that interestingly enough reminded me so much of our residence in Puerto Rico.

Although the humidity was traded for a gloomy chill, the home we were at was situated on a hill with wildlife and nature as far as the eye could see. There was a hammock and frogs croaked the night away like the coquis in PR. Although it was only for a day, we also had similar dynamics with meals together, recreation together, and most importantly time in the word and prayer realigning ourselves with God's vision for our campus together.

There was something soothing about it. Everything from getting to play ping pong late into the night, to waking up early after a lack of sleep on the hard floor and finishing off the book of Job. It was what I needed yet again and I was happy to share it with friends.

I certainly have not remedied all the thoughts plaguing me and I have not completely gotten rid of my burn out, but I was given a bit of rejuvenation. One passage we read in 1 Samuel 17 really stuck out to me for a several reasons and I will close with a few thoughts on it.

This passage is the famous account of David fighting the Philistine giant Goliath. Aside from the obvious conclusions that can be made about the crazy odds, there is a lot more that stuck out from this story. In essence it is not even David who is fighting Goliath, but God who is everything in the situation. In verses 45-47 David calls upon the name of the Lord to deliver Goliath into his hands so that the whole world may know His might. It is done for the glory of God.

Also, in this passage there also seems to be almost as much opposition to David from the Israelites as the Philistines. First, his older brothers are angry for him coming to see the fighting and then the king Saul has little faith in his ability as a warrior. The conflict is not as clear cut as good versus evil here. Furthermore, so often we take the moral of this story as being that each of us has giants that we are facing that we can take down even if we are as small as David. The inherent conclusion from this however should be that it is not about us really at all. The story of David is again all about God and his great power. As humans we make all of these Biblical stories human-centric. After all that's how they become relatable to our own lives. However, we cannot just stop there, but we must acknowledge that everything we do is for the glory of God and every obstacle we face is insignificant in comparison to His power and how much He loves us.

That doesn't mean that everything will be nice and rosy, or that we will do everything right and slay every giant. Look at David as exhibit A. He may have been filled with the spirit, but he was chased by King Saul as a young man and later on in his life he stole another man's wife for his own. It exemplifies that not everything went great for David and he certainly was not a righteous man all his years. But God does not see him as a sum of his parts, but simply as one of his own who had great faith. So what's the answer? A simple one that a friend recently reminded me of is that we need to redirect to the Lord and lean on Him. He is enough.

I went on a tangent once more, but it shows that this weekend was a good one! It gave me lots to think about.

All the  Glory be His